tune in

so these past 6 months have had me scratching my head from time to time-- moments of laughter, sadness, fear, excitement and anger alike have all created 4 things that i specifically have taken away from this trip:

1) keep your eye on the prize
2) slow down
3) open up and experience
4) preserve mental clarity and focus

if you can in the list above, picture an arrow going down from number 1 to number 4 on the left and then an arrow going up from number 4 to number 1 on the right side. each numbered item represents the individual takeaway and the arrows delineate their relation to one another. there is in fact some sort of full circle affect. i will explain in detail each of the takeaways, and as i do its kind of cool to watch how this sort of "continuum" i have spotted transfers quite nicely in to what we like to call.. well... "real" life.

take for example the small child that aspires as a young kid to be a plumber. he/she established their aspiration and "keeps their eye on that prize." in doing so they pick up on the nuances of general life and being a plumber. it is a growth process really. next, by opening up and experiencing the thoughts and emotions of other people, places and things the child establishes and understanding of the greater whole and thus sees their position in the picture as that plumber. with this new level of perception it is now time to establish and preserve the sort of mental clarity to achieve that initial "prize." so and so forth to achievement.

more generally as it applies to my understanding of achieving what you want in life; follow the same principle. establish your wants and needs (human nature), slow down-- so as to fully understand your requirements and desires vis-a-vis life in general. as you gain a greater understanding of yourself and your inherent goal, allow yourself to more fully experience life. a common "think outside of the box" principle comes to mind. dont just think introspectively or specifically with regard to your prize. rather, gain a richer unsderstanding of the greater whole-- call it the bigger picture. allow yourself to experience at a different lively, give yourself the gift of diversity. let these experiences shape that prize as if it were the piece of clat at the sculptors workbench. remain open so as to preserve your identification with that prize. in other words, allow all the infinite possibilities to enter your mind and ultimately refine and perfect this goal of yours. specifics look much finer when we perceive them as a part of the greater whole.

so by experiencing diversity and all the elements related to this goal, you essentially give yourself the opportunity to piece together that puzzle of totality (or call it completeness). each of the pieces have been put together based on initial though, observation and finally experience. this process, as i have come to understand it, takes time. however, once you have a finely crafted goal or idea, build it in to your psyche, or rather, place your mental focus on this goal. preserve your mental clarity and progress forward remembering that every idea becomes and action unless it is stopped in the transition by a different idea. the idea is, after all, the first stage of the unified organic process i speak of. external action towards that goal is now the completion of the whole process. live by this philosophy, you know? (it is in fact, partially burrowed from the philosopher baruch spinoza)

so now, i look at this sort of mentality i have established from experience over the past 6 months and is startling to compare this observed process with how things actually unfolded for me.

so take this little understanding of mine and compare it to the situation i was in as i left for this trip. i departed 6 months ago knowing i had this overarching goal of just being happy with the next step i would soon be taking with my life-- namely a job in the "real world." i had this idea of running my own business eventually. i remember talking with friends and family and not being able to articulate that sure-fire business plan. but the thoughts of having my own cafe, perhaps a youth hostel and a whole throng of other multimedia portals via the web, etc were always with me. i didnt know exactly what i wanted, but whatever decisions i did make i just wanted to be wholeheartedly pleased with my direction-- just as any human would want.

ok, lets halt. i have essentially at that point crafted a goal. i was tring to consider all of my alternatives-- an exhaustive game of hide and seek. in fact, i just had to slow down so as not to miss all of the ideas that were passing me by and biting at my ankles with every breath that i took. i just needed to listen.

and then i left town. i embarked on this worldwide trek of sorts to ultimately feed my appetite for travel and find some sense of clarity on what i truly and wholeheartedly wanted in my life. all in an effort to ultimately create this sort of "happiness" i talk about. i was, as i look back, giving myself the the gift of experience. at that point it wasnt that crystal clear. in fact, not at all. it makes perfect sense as i look back on it all now. as i took off on the old jet plane i was opening myself up to what would be a whole new world of experience. i would be arguing relentlessly with every walk of life on any conceivable political ideology, exploring the unkown of different cultures and witnessing activities and events previously unknown to me. all of this diversity in experience eventually painted that much finer portrait of the greater whole. my blob of clay that was previously the idea of owning a business was actively being morphed, shaped and molded by that which surrounded me. it was, and still is, alarming. this greater understanding of self and surroundings, however, has helped me to clarify my wants for the future.

i am happy when i am forced to think. i am happy when i force others to think. i am happy when i write. i am happy when i tell stories. i am happy when i joke and laugh with those around me.

fundamental understandings? obviously. but at some point in all our lives each and every human being thinks similarly about their life. in fact, each one of the above listed items may make every person happy in some way, shape or form. as such, application of those candidates for happiness in to my personal life is required. i have certainly come to come realization on what it is that i want for the next step.

happiness as we know it comes in a simple package. when we break it down, it is simply the art of matching a desired state with reality. thus, when we have properly matched these two we put a smile on our faces-- a genuine smile. a state of pleasure results. and in simple terms, my desired states of thinking, writing and joking seem like logical candidates in the persuit of happiness.

now what makes the art complex is how those candidates fit in toe grater picture that i have perceived in my mind. on the surface, my own personal candidates (for happiness) are simple ideas-- so painfully simple at times that i often shrug them off as too general. but that is precisely the mistake that i make-- as do so many other people. where i have stopped at the sign of generality, i must instead proceed with a greater zest for application. in other words, i cant let this concept of a "generic candidate for happiness" stop me, but rather i must dig deeper and find that candidates cozy sopt within my bigger picture and idea of life.

so now perhaps the desired states i listed off, while they mayseem general, bloom in to fruition when i as a person can place them conceptually in to my life as reality.

this act of placement has become a decision i have made. this decision, this newly molded piece of clay, this bigger new idea, this plan.. its a book i plan to write. you could call it a travel story with a punch. its a humorous tale of my adventure over the past 6 months mish-mashed with thought provoking (or at least i would like to think) analysis of some of lifes most fundamental building blocks. all of which will be based on the takeaways that i numbered 1 through 4 above. it is my thought that it will make other think about what they want in life and how they can get it while simultaneously awakening the senses and sparking a sort of new zest for life.

we will see where it will take me. who knows-- but the application is the most important part so i am determined to get there and see this one through. as such, as i move onward past this experience i have to preserve this mental clarity i feel i have developed and focus it to achieve that desired state of happiness.

so i have an idea for this "plan" now. all if which seems to make sense based on conclusions i have come to on this trip. the whole full circle effect of it all makes me scratch my head a bit. its amazing to me though-- it was only the occurences of everyday life that brought me to these new thoughts. after all, these ideas of what makes me happy have always been there, i just had to listen as i said before. the gift of experience just helped me perfect that art. taking that process, this does obviously beg one big question and its painfully simple: are you tuning in?