miniature victories

well, thank christ i finally found a power outlet.

you would have thought that there was an energy crisis in the smith terminal at detroit metro airport because it was damn near impossible to plug my laptop in. and this was something of a serious crisis because i had intricate plans of charging my laptop while waiting to board my plane, and then doing some writing once boarded to kill some time.

nine terminals down i finally found a power outlet that didn’t already have someone hovering over the thing as if to suggest that my intrusion on his fucking power outlet would result in total carnage.

i plugged in and sat on the floor because every seat was taken. a woman stared at me awkwardly as if i was going to eat her baby or something. this felt really, really uncomfortable for the 23 minutes or so that she decided this action was necessary.

aside from creepy staring woman with enormous eyebrows that wanted to breath dragon fire on my chest, i was pretty relieved that things were going to plan. that is, i was really fucking happy my laptop was getting charged. sweat was pouring down the back of my neck because i think i had 14 shirts on. i mean what the hell else are you supposed to do in the miserable cold that is the midwest? i took off my scarf and threw it on the ground. i opened up my book and began to read while electric currents entered my laptop preparing me for the journey.

eventually my flight boarded. united flight 485, direct to denver. fair enough.

just 5 months ago i was alerted that i am now a united airlines premier member because i traveled over 25,000 miles in the air last year. such an accreditation yields me about 14 more metric tons of paper mail per year from the airline, but also gets me boarded on the plane earlier and sitting in “priority” seats. i mean “priority seating” these days is kind of bullshit. as it is, i am sitting in what seems like a perfectly normal seat that apparently has 5 extra inches of legroom. interesting.

so with this heightened “status”, i get to board the flight early. and see, i was so fucking excited to be finally using my premier membership so this was kind of a big deal. as it was, the day that i was granted my status was actually the last time i flew on a united airlines jumbo jet. so for the past 5 months i have been pining to get a taste of the surreal life like snoop dogg or something.

so i walked through the line with the high rollers and handed my ticket to the attendant.

“uhhhhh sir, this would be the boarding call for premier 1k and first class.”

“well, maybe you didn’t see my ticket. i was recently inducted to premier status.”

“of course, sir. but premier is different from premier 1k. your boarding call is next.”

oh jesus christ. forgive me your majesty. i was completely unaware of the semantics related to the difference in my status title. i wanted to take the pen that was tucked behind my ear and write a big giant “1k” next to where it said “premier.” i was now bitter and the man could tell.

“please just go ahead, sir.”

awesome.

i gallivanted past that awkward situation.

i wiped my forehead that was now drenched in sweat and slammed my ass down in to seat 4c. i did so much as breathe for one second while seated and was greeted by an outstretched palm extending from the passenger to my immediate left. the guy had an enormous beard and kind of looked like that dude that did those painting shows on pbs— he was always talking about “happy fences,” remember? well, within that outstretched palm of the painter look-alike was a purple oval-shaped piece of what looked like an arsenic tablet.

seriously? what the fuck was going on? it became obvious that the world was against me at this particular juncture. the airline attendant made me feel like an idiot and now the guy sitting next to me wanted to kill me.

awesome.

i examined the palm in front of my nose for about 1.2 seconds and immediately accepted the offering when i realized that it was not arsenic but was in fact my fourth favorite piece of candy: a grape flavored mentos tablet.

awesome.

a random hero.

as i sat recovering from the trauma and enjoying my mento, i looked out the window across from me and actually saw my bag being loaded in to the jumbo jet. this was a first for me as i can’t even remember the last time i checked a bag on to a plane. it appeared as though the position of the bag on the gurney may be seriously crushing my costco-sized box of clif bars that i had packed in my suitcase.

note: it is relatively impossible for me to take any step forward without costco involvement in my life in some capacity. as it is, that bag that was being loaded on to the jet and was holding my entire life for the next six months, was purchased at costco.

yep.

i just chugged my eighteenth water of the trip. it’s remarkable that i haven’t pissed myself yet. the guy next to me across the aisle has those noise-canceling headphones on and is completely unaware of the fact that he is tapping his foot to the beat of whatever song he is listening to. the woman in front of him looked back at him with the eyes that suggest she could be lucifer in disguise.

such is the life of a united airlines premier member.

not 1k.

saying goodbye to home life today was mildly nerving. i got really, really used to eating cooked meals that mom so expertly crafted, waking up at 12 noon everyday and spending time with some great friends. i mean who would complain with these things?

as it is, i am leaving to move on to something i do in fact love. so i cant complain with that. i will be moving coast to coast in a box truck talking to people and telling them about crocs. sounds reasonable enough. my geographic time schedule is plotted out in the link below via the good people at google:

google maps link

oh god, toe-tappin’ tommy is at it again next to me. lucifer is lighting her firetorch.

home life— so yeah, there’s more to be said in that department. it’s always tough leaving that kind of comfort. but jesus, its not like this isn’t about the 50th time i have made some sort of transition in the past 3 years. some call it itchy feet, some call it being lost, some call it discovery, some call it brilliant and i just call it being smart. hah, awfully narcissistic of me, eh?

transition.

movement.

decisions.

exploration.

how can you get to your destination without exploring the route that will get you there?

i was up until the wee hours of the morning last night because lets be honest-- i have been sleeping in until noon every day. i read over the commencement speech i did for my graduating class at one point. it was kind of reassuring as i read it. i feel like the thoughts i laid out on that day— december 10, 2005-- i am still clinging to and wearing on my sleeve. i have made changes, i have made moves, i have bounced around and probably will continue to in some capacity—but all in the pursuit of simple pleasure. how important are the riches and the premier 1k membership when you don’t have the key happiness component?

seems simple enough to me.