tune in

so these past 6 months have had me scratching my head from time to time-- moments of laughter, sadness, fear, excitement and anger alike have all created 4 things that i specifically have taken away from this trip:

1) keep your eye on the prize
2) slow down
3) open up and experience
4) preserve mental clarity and focus

if you can in the list above, picture an arrow going down from number 1 to number 4 on the left and then an arrow going up from number 4 to number 1 on the right side. each numbered item represents the individual takeaway and the arrows delineate their relation to one another. there is in fact some sort of full circle affect. i will explain in detail each of the takeaways, and as i do its kind of cool to watch how this sort of "continuum" i have spotted transfers quite nicely in to what we like to call.. well... "real" life.

take for example the small child that aspires as a young kid to be a plumber. he/she established their aspiration and "keeps their eye on that prize." in doing so they pick up on the nuances of general life and being a plumber. it is a growth process really. next, by opening up and experiencing the thoughts and emotions of other people, places and things the child establishes and understanding of the greater whole and thus sees their position in the picture as that plumber. with this new level of perception it is now time to establish and preserve the sort of mental clarity to achieve that initial "prize." so and so forth to achievement.

more generally as it applies to my understanding of achieving what you want in life; follow the same principle. establish your wants and needs (human nature), slow down-- so as to fully understand your requirements and desires vis-a-vis life in general. as you gain a greater understanding of yourself and your inherent goal, allow yourself to more fully experience life. a common "think outside of the box" principle comes to mind. dont just think introspectively or specifically with regard to your prize. rather, gain a richer unsderstanding of the greater whole-- call it the bigger picture. allow yourself to experience at a different lively, give yourself the gift of diversity. let these experiences shape that prize as if it were the piece of clat at the sculptors workbench. remain open so as to preserve your identification with that prize. in other words, allow all the infinite possibilities to enter your mind and ultimately refine and perfect this goal of yours. specifics look much finer when we perceive them as a part of the greater whole.

so by experiencing diversity and all the elements related to this goal, you essentially give yourself the opportunity to piece together that puzzle of totality (or call it completeness). each of the pieces have been put together based on initial though, observation and finally experience. this process, as i have come to understand it, takes time. however, once you have a finely crafted goal or idea, build it in to your psyche, or rather, place your mental focus on this goal. preserve your mental clarity and progress forward remembering that every idea becomes and action unless it is stopped in the transition by a different idea. the idea is, after all, the first stage of the unified organic process i speak of. external action towards that goal is now the completion of the whole process. live by this philosophy, you know? (it is in fact, partially burrowed from the philosopher baruch spinoza)

so now, i look at this sort of mentality i have established from experience over the past 6 months and is startling to compare this observed process with how things actually unfolded for me.

so take this little understanding of mine and compare it to the situation i was in as i left for this trip. i departed 6 months ago knowing i had this overarching goal of just being happy with the next step i would soon be taking with my life-- namely a job in the "real world." i had this idea of running my own business eventually. i remember talking with friends and family and not being able to articulate that sure-fire business plan. but the thoughts of having my own cafe, perhaps a youth hostel and a whole throng of other multimedia portals via the web, etc were always with me. i didnt know exactly what i wanted, but whatever decisions i did make i just wanted to be wholeheartedly pleased with my direction-- just as any human would want.

ok, lets halt. i have essentially at that point crafted a goal. i was tring to consider all of my alternatives-- an exhaustive game of hide and seek. in fact, i just had to slow down so as not to miss all of the ideas that were passing me by and biting at my ankles with every breath that i took. i just needed to listen.

and then i left town. i embarked on this worldwide trek of sorts to ultimately feed my appetite for travel and find some sense of clarity on what i truly and wholeheartedly wanted in my life. all in an effort to ultimately create this sort of "happiness" i talk about. i was, as i look back, giving myself the the gift of experience. at that point it wasnt that crystal clear. in fact, not at all. it makes perfect sense as i look back on it all now. as i took off on the old jet plane i was opening myself up to what would be a whole new world of experience. i would be arguing relentlessly with every walk of life on any conceivable political ideology, exploring the unkown of different cultures and witnessing activities and events previously unknown to me. all of this diversity in experience eventually painted that much finer portrait of the greater whole. my blob of clay that was previously the idea of owning a business was actively being morphed, shaped and molded by that which surrounded me. it was, and still is, alarming. this greater understanding of self and surroundings, however, has helped me to clarify my wants for the future.

i am happy when i am forced to think. i am happy when i force others to think. i am happy when i write. i am happy when i tell stories. i am happy when i joke and laugh with those around me.

fundamental understandings? obviously. but at some point in all our lives each and every human being thinks similarly about their life. in fact, each one of the above listed items may make every person happy in some way, shape or form. as such, application of those candidates for happiness in to my personal life is required. i have certainly come to come realization on what it is that i want for the next step.

happiness as we know it comes in a simple package. when we break it down, it is simply the art of matching a desired state with reality. thus, when we have properly matched these two we put a smile on our faces-- a genuine smile. a state of pleasure results. and in simple terms, my desired states of thinking, writing and joking seem like logical candidates in the persuit of happiness.

now what makes the art complex is how those candidates fit in toe grater picture that i have perceived in my mind. on the surface, my own personal candidates (for happiness) are simple ideas-- so painfully simple at times that i often shrug them off as too general. but that is precisely the mistake that i make-- as do so many other people. where i have stopped at the sign of generality, i must instead proceed with a greater zest for application. in other words, i cant let this concept of a "generic candidate for happiness" stop me, but rather i must dig deeper and find that candidates cozy sopt within my bigger picture and idea of life.

so now perhaps the desired states i listed off, while they mayseem general, bloom in to fruition when i as a person can place them conceptually in to my life as reality.

this act of placement has become a decision i have made. this decision, this newly molded piece of clay, this bigger new idea, this plan.. its a book i plan to write. you could call it a travel story with a punch. its a humorous tale of my adventure over the past 6 months mish-mashed with thought provoking (or at least i would like to think) analysis of some of lifes most fundamental building blocks. all of which will be based on the takeaways that i numbered 1 through 4 above. it is my thought that it will make other think about what they want in life and how they can get it while simultaneously awakening the senses and sparking a sort of new zest for life.

we will see where it will take me. who knows-- but the application is the most important part so i am determined to get there and see this one through. as such, as i move onward past this experience i have to preserve this mental clarity i feel i have developed and focus it to achieve that desired state of happiness.

so i have an idea for this "plan" now. all if which seems to make sense based on conclusions i have come to on this trip. the whole full circle effect of it all makes me scratch my head a bit. its amazing to me though-- it was only the occurences of everyday life that brought me to these new thoughts. after all, these ideas of what makes me happy have always been there, i just had to listen as i said before. the gift of experience just helped me perfect that art. taking that process, this does obviously beg one big question and its painfully simple: are you tuning in?

africkin' fantastic

so i am on about day 30 something of peanut butter and jelly. but yet with every bite of that tasty snack i think to myself "damn, this stuff is so good." its funny how the international community nearly vomits at the thought of peanut butter and jelly. i am usually pegged as an american when people see me spreading outrageous amounts of the peanutty delight on my bread.

so africa: its been a mixed bag of just about everything you can think of. from seeing dik-diks (haha ok i had to use that as the animal example, its kind of like a small antelope-- and there is actually a variety of dik-diks called "phillip's dik-dik." yeah, that was a funny joke for a little bit) to eating some crazy african food, the past 40 days have been a physical and emotional rollercoaster.

...all in a good way of course.

we started in kenya which is where i left off. we landed in the capital city, nairobi on 12 may. now, the nickname for that place is "nai-robbery" but we found that title couldnt be any more misleading. it was a pleasant city, sure they have their problems, but keeping your wits about you will put you in safe hands. the streets were lined with vendors selling maize (corn on the cob) and a handful of people wanting to sell you everything from back issues of popular western magazines to an adventurous day trip. we left after three days to start our trek southbound.

tanzania was the country we spent the majority of our safari time. the serengeti is africa's largest national park and the place was stunning-- to say the least. i took the oh-so typical photo of our truck passing under the "welcome to the serengeti national park" sign and it was game time: lions jumped out at us, cheetahs roared and the hyenas nearly ate bryan.

not really.

but the place was laced with the most incredible wildlife this old city boy has ever seen. im talking all kinds of beasts: lions (tons), hyenas, giraffes, dik-dik, buffalo-- and entire laundry list of other stuff. seeing these creatures really puts you in your place in the whole spectrum of things. we were lucky enough to actually witness a live kill which about blew my socks off. these hyenas absolutely ravaged through an antelope. as they hyenas backed off the vultures pounced in and literally cleaned the thing up to the point where it was a pile of bones on the ground.

appetizing!

our first night in the serengeti we slept in the park. the sign as we entered the campsite read "do not walk around at night, the animals will attack humans." hmmm. at night when we needed to get stuff out of the truck we would go with the driver as he carried a machete. even more alarming was the fact that the few people working the campsite slept in a caged-in area. seriously, they were pleasantly slumbering away safe from all these beasts outside while bryan and i were clinging to each other in the tent hoping that the hyenas werent as hungry as we had seen the previous day.

having to pee in the middle of the night was just a no-no. i commented the next morning on how i had been pinching a piss off since about 10 pm the night before. not cool, man.

we travelled in these safari days with a group. it was a fun group-- full of irony really. you had an aussie that didnt know how to swim and strictly abided by a "no alcohol" policy. there were even interesting canadians and decent looking brits (haha sorry mark). but all jokes aside, they were a fun bunch to chum with. we had roughly 21 days together, so you had better hope they were ok.

zanzibar-- while i didnt think i would ever be saying this-- was about my least favorite spot in africa. as far as i knew prior to throwing down there, it had been touted ubiquitously as a beautiful haven for sun and interesting architecture. it was a main sea route from the east and so you had a ton of arabic influence in the architecture and spices, etc. sounded excellent!

HAH! coudnt have been any further from the truth. the place was laced with people trying to get you in some way or the other. omri enjoyed the place, so maybe ask him about it (i will say, however, that the northern region and beaches are beautifully secluded and much more pristine).

malawi was my favorite country in africa. it had much more open countryside, a beautiful lake and just a demeanor abotu the people that was so infectious. they were such happy and beautiful people in so many ways. here so many had so little, but yet they carried an uncharacteristic optimism about them that brought me to my knees. i asked a young boy after a soccer match what he loved about his country:

"i love the trees. the trees are beautiful to look at, they are peaceful and they give me the money to run my business one day." (he was planning to continue carving figures from the tree wood for a living later in life)

i mean come on, its almost like i made that up to romanticize about the beauty of life or something. just incredible stuff.

we swooped westbound to hit zambia and zimbabwe. victoria falls, nestled just between the two, was truly a spectactle. the falls are 10 times wider and taller than niagara falls for reference. david livingstone, who "discovered" the falls around 1855 proclaimed that "scenes so lovely must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight." honestly though, it was one of those sites that you look at and your jaw just kind of drops a bit and you feel the presence of what stands before you.

the zambezi bridge connects zambia and zimbabwe over the zambezi bridge which cuts through the two as their border. before we crossed, bryan and i took the plunge off the bridge bungee jumping.

...standing on that edge, some 300 feet up i was shitting my pants. seriously, hands were absolutely dripping sweat and i could barely speak from the cotton mouth. who the hell knows what got me over that edge, but the fall was unbelievable. such a cool feeling-- your body is telling you that the current situation is NOT normal, your heartbeat is racing, you cant even so much as mutter the word "oh shit" as you fall. then when you make it safely you are elevated to a mood of adrenaline-induced natural high-- pretty sweet really.

...so sweet in fact that we decided to do it again in south africa-- this time from the tallest bungee in the world at roughly 650 feet. the second time around, i have to admit, wasnt quite AS COOL. it was a more familiar event and as such the emotions werent electricuting your senses.

so let me back track a bit. we left the safari group in zimbabwe and decided to end the trip just how we started it: with a car of our own!

haha, ok we didnt buy it this time but we rented one. a nice little ride-- LITTLE being the operative word. it was an old VW golf-- white in color. it was a very sheek ride, complete with a model name that eventually gave the car its nickname: CHICO.

so we tore ass through the whole of south africa in old chico. south africans drive on the left side of the road, and this car happened to have a manual transmission which was pretty fun. fun for ME to drive, being the only one who could drive a manual. i wasnt going to bear the whole load and bryan was quite keen to learn so we had it all planned (meanwhile omri was scared to death of driving the thing and opted for permanent banishing to the backseat).

the day i taught bryan how to drive the thing was just a hoot. hilarious really. i mean picture this: we are in a small african village. people were all over dipping in and out of the markets, women were carrying loads of fruits and vegetables on their head, kids were scrambling all over. it was certain that we could not have picked a more hectic scene for poor bryan to pick up his new talent. i swear we put the fear of god in at least two peoples faces as bryan sputtered along trying to master the driving. one guy was crossing the street as bryan dropped in to first gear. we lunged forward as he tried to get the clutch right, the tires screeched and the car halted as we stalled. meanwhile the guy thought we had started off very quickly and slammed on the breaks to avoid hitting him. he was scared shitless and apologizing like mad. we all looked forgiving as we tried like hell not to burst out laughing.

good times.

coffee bay was the highlight of south africa. the place was historically a spot where the blacks of south africa settled, and unfortunately as such the whites of south africa tended to not travel. as such, the place has remained an untouched beauty-- free from many tourists, hotel chains, invasive property and the annoyances of city life. think of huge, lush, green hills running on an endless indian ocean coast. villages were scattered here and there, children ran around flashing big smiles and people were... well... happy. its amazing how that mentality is seen so much here. just incredible really. when i come back to south africa some day this will be the first place i go to hide out at.

cape town, our current location has been full of adventures and other happenings. my internet time is about to be out here so unfortunately i cant go in to detail, but lets talk in a few days when i am home.

geez, thats startling. another more reflective blog for the whole trip is on its way.